Get Smart
by dontlovethegirl
Summary: Solid Snake is a simple analyst for SMASH, the world's biggest intelligence agency. Samus Aran is Agent 99, the most renowned agent in the business. When the novice and the experienced must work together, hell's gonna break loose. Samus x Snake.


_Solid Snake is a simple analyst for SMASH, the world's biggest intelligence agency. Samus Aran is Agent 99, the most renowned agent in the business. When the tables are turned and Snake's dreams to become a field agent comes true, the novice and the experienced are forced to work together in what seems to be the toughest mission yet. Joy. ::Samus x Snake ; Spy x Spy::_

Disclaimer: I don't own Solid Snake, Samus Aran, or Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Sorry to disappoint.

* * *

It had been nearly fifty years since the government created SMASH, an intelligence agency that had foiled numerous terrorist attacks and enemy advances around the world. Only the best of the best made it into SMASH – from the cold, stoic Meta Knight to the skilled Ness of psychic fame. Because of the vast abilities of its members, many were made to be analysts – intelligent office workers who often found information or created weapons – or they were placed in the field, becoming direct spies.

The analyst Solid Snake rushed up the stairs of the Trophy Museum, a stack of fleeting papers collected in his hands. As he entered the building, he glanced almost immediately to his left and his right, and when the coast was clear, he scurried over to a nearby display. Snake's eyes quickly met with a nearby hovering camera, and as he smiled cheesily into the screen, he pressed a concealed button which caused a large museum display to overturn, revealing a long passageway. The somewhat-aging man sprinted down the long, seemingly never-ending hallway, which involved squeezing though metal doors that selectively opened and spinning blades that seemed to ward off the enemy.

Snake's destination was one that was worth the time, however. Fitting both himself and his large stack of papers into a small telephone booth, he flew down into a tiny elevator that led him to Peach, the desk attendant. The blonde sighed and rolled her eyes as she noticed him walk by.

"Today's a good day, isn't it?" Snake sheepishly commented, dropping one of his papers in the process. Peach scoffed and continued to play with her fake nails. "Must you _always _start a conversation with me? _Everyday, everyday…_" she rambled, pulling tweezers from her bag. "Oh, and don't drop anything on the way in, like you always do."

Snake took Peach's last words as an act of kindness, rather than a snotty remark, as he entered the computer-filled headquarters of SMASH. A few people cheered his name as he walked down the tumbling stairs and towards his desk. It had been a good while since he had walked through the headquarters' doors.

"Snake…!" An excited Pit yelled, flying over to his friend at light-speed. Link took the time to grab his signature green hat, and then walked out of his zone to join the conversation. "It's been _such _a long time," the swordsman sighed, wrapping Snake in a bear hug. "We were all getting worried. I mean, you didn't have to take _sixteen _days off. That's a pretty long time."

"I wish that _I _could have all those days away from this social hierarchy," Pit scowled, glancing over in Marth and Ike's direction. "The field agents are really getting us on our nerves. Just because they get to do the real spy work…"

"Now, now; you guys were the ones who said that you weren't 'cut out' to become field agents," Snake scolded, getting the upper hand. Link quickly shook his head. "I protested against the idea because I'm simply tired of hand-to-hand combat," he exclaimed. Most people knew of Link's past before his SMASH days – he was a skilled swordsman who had, supposedly, saved Agent Zelda countless times. "Pit, on the other hand, was too chicken to take the Field Agent exam." Snake couldn't help but to laugh.

"Speaking of the exam," he interrupted, "My results came in! Chief wanted to see me." He sharply turned to his left and proceeded up the stairs, but was stopped short when the doors opened yet again.

A tall, blue-clad figure emerged from the hallway, and almost spontaneously, each and every person in the headquarters stood up and broke out in applause. Agent 23, or simply 'Sheik', as they called him, was one of the well-known agents in the business. There was only one other agent that topped him – Agent 99 – but she rarely was seen in public. Sheik's ability, as well as the time that he put in to raise his social status, had made him a highly talked-about celebrity.

"I wish that _my _entrance could of been like that," Snake sighed, eyeing Sheik from head to toe. "Agent 23 – or should I say, _Sheik_," he said, starting a conversation, "That was _amazing_. I mean, no other agent could just walk in here and receive a standing ovation. Simply… amazing."

"I do what I can," Sheik toyed, nudging Snake in the shoulder. The analyst winced in pain, but quickly covered his infliction with a smile. "I heard that you took the Field Agent Exam. How did _that _go?"

"I was going to get my results right now, but your entrance stopped me short. I-in a good way," Snake stuttered, trying to impress his superior as much as he could. Instead, Sheik walked away with a rather nonchalant look on his face.

"Ugh. I _hate _field agents," Pit spat. "They think that they're all that, just because they actually go out and kill the bad guys. But, if it wasn't for us, they wouldn't have all of their cool technology!" Link quickly nodded. "Anyways, I heard that we're getting a new trophy machine," he added, exchanging a fist bump with Pit. Snake sighed.

"The trophy machine's only for actual _agents_," he teased, walking towards the Chief's office. Both Pit and Link, defeated, headed back to their desks to scowl.

* * *

Mario was a mustache-wielding man with a heavy Italian accent to boot. Despite his extremely short stature, he was highly respected by the various members of SMASH, and he somehow landed the position of Chief. Snake had encountered a few rumors that claimed that Mario was once a great field agent, saving countless princesses from SUBSPACE.

"You needed me, Chief?" Snake asked, placing his books on a nearby table. Mario rubbed his mustache and gestured for Snake to take a seat, as he gathered a stack of papers from a drawer.

"Your Field Agent Test results just came in, and let me tell you, they're _amazing_," he began, folding his hands on his desk. "You answered practically every question with flying colors. Agent 99 would be beet red if she saw your score." Snake's smile widened. "… I'm gonna have to retain you, however," the red-clad leader added, watching Snake's smile decrease to a stoic expression.

"You're my best analyst. You know practically every language! There's no way that I could just let you go off into that dangerous world, you see." the former plumber explained, rising from his seat. "Without you in this HQ, we would fall, hard and fast… amazingly fast. Anyway, my boy… just because you passed the written exam doesn't mean that you'll pass out there. Truthfully, I think that we _all _know what your abilities are, and they don't include anything that has to do with field work."

"You're saying that I'm not being promoted because I'm too _good_?" Snake asked, his face still hanging in depression. Mario could do nothing but nod. "I… I just don't what to say," he chuckled, trying his best to joke the whole thing off. "… I mean, all that training, all that hard _work…_"he trailed, emphasizing on 'work'. "I… I understand. Have a nice day." With that, the pale, rejected analyst rushed out the door. Mario glanced at the table.

He had left his papers.

"I don't know what to do with that kid," Mario sighed, leaning against his desk and shaking his head.

* * *

r&&r?


End file.
